


Letters

by Odette



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Post-Credits Scene, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, Letters, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Spoilers, and my beta cried too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6739015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odette/pseuds/Odette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>******Please be aware that this is about the Captain America: Civil War Mid Credit scene and contains spoilers******</p>
<p>Steve writes a letter to Bucky and gets a surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letter 1

Dear Bucky,

It has been a week now since you went back into Cryostasis. 

I've been restless ever since. I have visited you in the tank, but whenever I'm there I want to get you out. 

Hard as it is, I will respect your decision. Because you made it.

Sam advised me to write my feelings down. He said that I needed to get the emotions out and he was getting tired of me moping about the place. 

But you know I'm not good at expressing my feelings. I'd rather take action. 

Sam told me to try, for you. 

He reminded me of a question he had once asked me; what makes me happy? At the time, I didn't know the answer. Maybe I do now though. To admit it to myself is another story. 

In the short time we fought side-by-side again, it felt like we would pick up where we had left off. As if the intervening 70 odd years had never happened. 

But God, they did and they were more unkind to you than me.

I'll be honest, after I came out of the ice, I felt alone. Everything I knew had changed. Everyone I knew had died. Either in the war or from old age, but not Peggy. 

And then there was you. 

Now that she is gone, you are the only one who truly knows me.

What I'm saying is, I missed you. I missed you more than I have realized before. You are so close now, yet still so far away.

After you left me on the bank of the Potomac, it felt as if I got a small piece of my old life back. Although you were under the influence of HYDRA. Even if you didn't recognize me, it was like you felt there was a connection.

At least I like to think so.

I searched for you after I got out of the hospital. Sam and I ran down every lead we got, to no avail. 

Then the UN bombing happened and they implicated you.

When they organized the manhunt for you, I felt like the small piece I was forcibly clinging to was being taken away from me, again.

I had the opportunity to make amends for not getting to you in time on the train. I was sure as hell not going to let that chance slip away from me. 

I still considered you a friend; someone who had known me all his life and stood by me when I was young and in the war. Someone I couldn't abandon to people who didn't know him. 

Or cared about him. 

These people would use you as a trophy and keep you locked up after they were done showing you off. 

I sensed that I had to step up and take responsibility for something, I believed, I had a hand in. Despite the fact that some of my friends advised against it. 

You were always there for me and I wanted to be there for you now. 

I don't know the full extent of what they did to you or had you do for them. I actually don't want to know. 

I only know that I will be there for you when you come out of cryostasis. 

I will welcome you with open arms because you make me happy.

Steve


	2. Letter 2

Dear Steve,

I am writing this letter to you before I go back in cryo because, frankly, I know how you are. I'm giving it to T'Challa so he can give it to you afterward. 

You worry about me, I can see it in your face, but where I'm going is the safest place on earth. And it's about the same size as my old bedroom. You know I'm not even kidding.

I can't face what HYDRA made me do, but what pains me more is not being able to spend time to reconnect with you. 

You rightly said other people controlled me, but now I can finally take charge of my own life again. Do what I consider to be right, for me. 

You always had a mind of your own and inner moral compass that was unshakable. People never needed to tell you what to do. You always knew what the right thing to do was.

Getting your ass kicked wasn't one of them though. 

I believe joining the army was another one. I'm still not sure it was the right choice for you. Even though you joining up means we are together now. 

You were a scrawny little kid with a medical file an inch thick who wanted to be just like the rest. You didn't want to show weakness so you let yourself get beaten up by the bullies in the neighborhood. 

Because of that I felt I had to protect you from the world and yourself. To let you know you mattered, to me. 

Now I feel you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. In looking out for others, you think of yourself last.

Now hear me out, the world has managed to stay afloat even during the time you were in the ice. It will continue to do so if you take two weeks or more off every once in a while to take care of yourself. 

Please, Steve, live the life you deserve to live. Don't wallow in regret and guilt. 

Especially not over me. 

Sam seems a friend who understands that and I hope you will keep him close and confide in him.

You are more than merely Captain America. You are Steve Rogers too. Don't forget to listen to that scrawny little kid because he needs someone to take care of him too.

You will always have a friend in me. Even though I'm not right beside you.

Bucky


	3. Letter 3

Dear Bucky,

T'Challa just gave me your letter. I'm grateful for it, but it's a hard read.

I have to admit though that you are right. 

I don't often think about myself or put myself first because it is difficult to. I have to confront who I am. 

People consider me to be Captain America and act accordingly. The man who came out of the ice and is part of the Avengers. 

The leader. 

In fact, I do tend to forget about Steve. I'm scared to think about him because I've been so out of touch with him. 

Erskine told me that the serum enhanced all the good that was in me. That being a good man was better than being a perfect soldier. But suddenly I was looking and feeling so different yet people treated me the same. 

I was a dancing monkey. Not the army that they hoped for. 

They needed soldiers. What they got was a good man who looked like a perfect soldier. 

People started to change their attitudes towards me after I saved you and the 107th. I was considered a hero by them, the perfect daring soldier, but I did it for you. I was being a good friend. 

And then the mission to capture Zola happened. 

After that it became easier to put on the Captain America cloak rather than face and understand who Steve had become. 

I still struggle with that. The serum gave me so much, but little Steve from Brooklyn was too stunned. As hard as he fought, he couldn't beat the Captain.

It is hard for me to read that you don't hold me responsible for what happened on the train. I think that this guilt influenced me to do for others what I couldn't do for you.

Maybe I do seek to solve the problems of others since confronting my own is too painful.

So do I really know what the right thing to do is? 

I wish I could talk to you about this face to face. Of all people you would understand, better than even Sam. 

Although being on the opposite end of the scale, you've experienced the same. You still had Bucky inside while you were the Winter Soldier. But that is where the comparison ends.

You have made the decision that you needed, to put Bucky first, which was the right choice. Now that I'm writing this down I can understand your choice even better.

As it is, I can't talk to you about it so I'm going to take your advice to heart and confide in Sam. Maybe you're right and he understands more than I give him credit for.

I'll still wait for you.

Steve


End file.
